Catherine-Ann / Pure-Grace
Jan. 1, 2022
THE END OF 2021
Friday, December 31, 2021
Greetings to you on New Year's Eve! As I finished journaling this morning, I saw that there were 4 empty pages left in my book, so I started to write, and this is what came of it.
2021 was a year dominated by thoughts, prayers and all that it took to remove & treat the cancer that was in me.
Looking back, yes it was really tough, but I thank God for taking me through it one step at a time. To look in the eye of the storms, especially of chemo & radiation & all that that means. The many aspects of the treatments themselves, the trips to the hospital, the I.V.'s, the radiation bed, the nasty full (over full) bladder, the "go now" incidents, including on the side of the freeway, the 1st chemo's overwhelming pain & wipe-out, not being able to do anything for myself, the kidney 'surprise' trip to emergency, the different side effects that overwhelmed me, the constant neuropathy pain, which thankfully got somewhat under control, from at first, horrific debilitation to long term constant awareness (but tolerable), that total weakness where I sat on the sofa, not knowing how to lie down, the fainting with low blood pressure, the days & days of constipation, then diarrhea, the myriad of meds (over 16 per day), the weight gain, lower back pain, neck spasms, blurred vision, loss of hair (which went from fear & sadness to total acceptance).
Wow, that was a purge. Now, I don't feel that I'm hanging on to all of that suffering, due to each of these things, but obviously they've been stored somewhere inside.
God's greatest gift to me has been Larry! I wrote many things about him this morning, but I want to save them for a blog, just for him.
OK, now the good stuff! First & foremost, God has sustained, held, consoled, guided, protected, loved & carried me through every minute of this year. Starting actually, in Dec. 2020 when I got 'the' call' telling me that I had cancer, it has never been emotionally devastating or overwhelming. Immediately remembered a friend, Rosalia's request for prayer with her cancer: "Please pray that I suffer well!" That prayer became mine too!
It has been my pleasure and privilege to pray for and thank God for each of you. It is said that when a soul approaches God with trust, He fills it with such an abundance of graces that it cannot contain them within itself but radiates them to other souls. (from St. Faustina's Diary #1074) So my prayer is that you are mutually blessed with abundant grace. (I may have quoted this before, but I want to remind you again!)
I have been overwhelmed by the love, support, compassion and prayers of more people than I could ever know. Especially that 2021 was a full year dominated by the Covid pandemic, the kindness of so many has been shown to us in very creative (safe) ways. Almost each week, someone tells me that they pray for me each day. Many whose name I don't even know. Over the years, I know that I have held many, many people in prayer, who never knew that I was praying for them. 'To love and be loved!' / 'To pray and be prayed for!' Without a doubt, I know that the great gift of prayer, is why Larry & I have done so well. I do not take it for granted and am abundantly grateful.
I’ve seen a request pop up recently: “Who made a difference in 2021 for you?” I certainly want to pay tribute to every single health care professional who served me over the past year. I could have not asked for better in any way!
God bless you, as you put 2021 behind you. Hopefully the painful parts move you forward, having made you more patient and loving, stronger, wiser, kinder and grateful!