Catherine-Ann / Pure-Grace

Sep. 22, 2022

TRYING HARD TO TRY HARDER! (09.21.22)

Wednesday, September 21, 2022

7:25 PM

Hello and welcome to our day today! (No proof reading today! Thanks for understanding this challenge!)

 I've been trying to go in earlier this week & its sure paying off. Today I got to see Larry in action again. The physios were taking him off to the gym. He had already spent time with the O.T. & rec therapist.  While Larry was working out, Shane came in and was thrilled to see Dad in action! It was sweet of the physios to stop for a minute so Shane could share a hug. The physio had Larry standing straight up, strapped to the 'bench' with his feet supporting his weight. It is very moving to see Larry give it all he's got, then a bit more in these therapy sessions. He worked so hard though that he became nauseous. It's pretty rough when that happens because Larry is almost never up-right when he has to vomit. It was over quickly, but it was definitely the end of his gym work-out for today.

  Since our family & team meeting on Monday, things have really started improving, regarding Larry's care as well as his therapies. They are all in full swing. Larry, for a couple of days has had an expression of gloom or sadness on his face. I very gently try to ask him to share how he's feeling. Nothing comes out except a very emotional "I want to walk!" I try to help him understand how far he's come, with the most exciting thing a week following his surgery July 4th, was that he 'squeezed my hand'… once. That lifts him up for a few seconds, then he's down again. It's to be expected of course, but from the beginning of all of this I prayed that 'whatever', Larry would have patience & peace through the trials he'd face. For the most part it's been a huge blessing that he has not been preoccupied with the many, very serious things he's had to deal with, e.g.: feeding tube; skull bone missing; dialysis; etc. He seems to have accepted these things, absolutely without ever complaining or expressing concern.

  Larry's nurse today is the lovely fellow that cared for him last week. He has always paid close attention to all of Larry's needs. One of the needs today, sadly, is that another rash was developing all over his body. Anti-itch cream helped but not totally. They added Benadryl to his feed tube. As I was leaving, a few of the little blood spots came up. The nurse was on it, consulting with the doctor. He had made sure that no chemicals were used in washing/ wiping down of Larry & the special mattress he lies on. I pray that it has gone as far as its going to go, & the rash clears up as quickly as it came. The last time this happened, it was horrible, plus Larry's wrists were tied down, to prevent him from pulling out his feed tube from his nose, at the same time, not able to relieve the itching by scratching. He doesn't fidget at all with the tube now in his abdomen.

  Larry had told me on Monday that his old guitar, (the one I bought him when we got engaged, 52 yrs. ago) was still at the repair shop. I was with him when he dropped it off in June, but Larry couldn't remember the details of where exactly. He mentioned it to Gordon, & instantly, the mystery was solved. Gordon called the fellow & arranged to pick it up. That was one of Larry's big smiles today, when Gordon brought in his old guitar, tuned it & placed it in Larry's hands. It was lovely to hear him just make those lovely sounds he makes, when he's just freely playing, without any specific tune in mind. When I was leaving, I asked if he wanted me to take it home, of leave it with him. "Leave it!"

   I was unable to speak with the hospitalist yesterday or today about how each one of our family members, are not confident in trusting the one nephrologist's plan to remove Larry's dialysis tube PICC from his chest, because there is "No further need for dialysis!" Of course, we are excited & relieved about 'the end' of dialysis for Larry, but nervous, and not totally trusting that that is 100% the case, which would mean future trauma for Larry, if he needed the surgery to insert it again, if his kidneys weren't as healthy as this doctor says they are right now. I left a message today, with the 'manager' (who lead the Mon. meeting) asking for a 2nd opinion. Another concern is that Larry is having more trouble with his vision in the last while.

Hopefully that will bring that familiar soothing comfort to him, that he's known for most of his life.

  Larry got to wish Shane & Courtney a happy (3rd) wedding anniversary today. Their beautiful wedding took place just a few months before Covid had its way with so many couples' wedding plans.

To witness his journey is a great & inspiring privilege. I love him more than ever! The love we have shared through this trial, has been more powerful than we could have ever imagined when we said, "I do!", 50 years ago. "In sickness & in health!" Ay-ya-yai! Welcome to 2021 & 2022! Thank you for the part you play in our 'Love Story!" We thank God for you! xoxo

  I'm the most pooped today than ever. Yes, the rough stuff really takes its toll, but I've found out recently, that being excited over Larry's great progress, is wonderfully exhausting. Although Larry's rash is somewhat on my mind, hoping it won't be an issue, I have a smile on my face & in my heart at the courage & perseverance of our 'Champion Warrior'

  Thank you for being such tremendous, loving encouragers to both of us & all who love us!. God bless you!