‘CATHERINE-ANN’ was the name given to me at birth!          

Catherine = ‘PURE' (Greek  origin)  -  Ann = ‘GRACE’ (Hebrew origin)

I choose to rely on ‘Pure Grace’ from God to guide me, carry me and sustain me

through my journey with cancer.

UPDATE ENTRIES read in order from MOST RECENT (at the top) to OLDEST entry (at the bottom).

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 13, 2021        'GALIVANTING'

What a great week we had last week, then again today. We took the opportunity (without rain)to enjoy being in nature: walking through the forest at Minekhada park; the Pitt Meadows dyke with the view of the snow topped mountains and bold red fields of blue-berry bushes; then a walk on the beach at Boundary Bay with its panorama view and gazillion birds. Today we headed up to Chilliwack. Love the mountains against the big sky. Sunset coming home was awesome. Hoping for another 'galivant' tomorrow. (Click on ‘Pics’ to see photos we took.)

Sunday, Jan 11, 2021   

Wednesday, January 6, 2021

EARTH - AIR - WATER - FIRE... What?

Strange how things come together at once!

My science lesson this week.

-EARTH - that would be 'iron'. I get fatigued more easily, so I'm incorporating foods high in iron into my meals.

-AIR- Jason sent me some great info on the benefits of rythmic breathing. 'Of course we need oxygen!' I started the exercise & experienced benefits right away. At the time he sent the info, I had just experienced feeling overwhelmed. After 5 minutes of the 'breathing' I was completely calm & feeling very up!

-WATER- My Dr. called, instructing me to drink plenty of H2O after seeing my blood test results. To counter the effects of the anti-inflammatories I'd been taking ( too many, for too long). Everything else was good.

-FIRE- Shane pulled the science lesson together when I told him my change in eating habits, adopting the routine he follows. He said "Well that's the 'fuel!"

So, never having been good at science in school, I'm feeling quite clever, along with physically & emotionally better.

It seems there’s not much to report… but we’ll see by the end of this entry if that’s so!

Understanding that speculation usually fuels worry, fear & anxiety, I make the decision every day to evict any of those ‘What if?’ thoughts from my head. Well, a titch of anxiety’s been sneaking in the back door over the past few days. So, rather than trying to shoo it away, I prayed & had a look at it. The thought of leaving everything as it is, re: my 1st appointment with the Cancer Clinic on the 19th, changed. I spoke with Larry & we agreed that it would be a good thing to put my name on a wait list, hoping for an earlier date. So, tomorrow I’ll do that, trusting that ‘It will be what it will be!’ and not spend my days ruminating about ‘What if?’ tomorrow. I’m also going for a blood test to see if my iron is low, as I have been more fatigued than usual. 

Feeling quite good has given us 3 weeks of peace & enjoyment. I’ve really appreciated the freedom we’ve enjoyed & didn’t think of doing anything to shorten our time of ‘smooth sailing’. Subconsciously I suppose I’m not excited about diving into unknown waters. Please pray that I renew, throughout each day, the decision to accept the grace to be faithful, hopeful, loving, joyful, kind, generous & thoughtful while persevering and enduring with courage, patience & optimism. It almost seems like too tall an order… but not really. By embracing even 2 or 3 qualities, it’s my experience that they pave the way for others to come on board. May I never be over-whelmed by a wave of despair, that would keep me from clinging to God’s merciful grace.  

May God bless you to overcome the challenges in your own life. I am very grateful for your love & support on this journey. Thank you! Xoxoxo

  I never use that word ‘ambiguity’, but I did yesterday when I thanked my doctor for clarifying misperceptions I had over what seemed urgent when I first received the biopsy results and the process since. Not knowing how things work re: first appointment with the cancer clinic, I was assured that the Jan. 19th date is very much in line with the norm, especially with Christmas & New Years in the mix. So, I’m good! I’m going for blood tests on Monday as I’ve been unusually fatigued since experiencing a return of those special visits once a month prior to menopause. We agreed that I should keep as healthy as I can leading up to surgery.  Speaking of watching what I eat, (for sure, starting Jan. 2). Yesterday we were treated by angels who made [LB1] us our 2 favorite Syrian dishes (the tastiest food in the world)! We feel like we’re done with fancy food for a while, but… we’ll see! 

  We were so grateful yesterday for the good news that a dear friend is home from the hospital recovering from Covid 19. We certainly don’t have to look far to direct our prayers to others. 

  Don’t mean to be greedy, but my sciatic nerve has beaten me up over the last 3 days. It’s so nasty, and it’s the reason I didn’t do a video for you today. I’ve been offering up the spasms as a prayer blessing for any way that you and/or your family members are struggling. Thank you for your loving prayers for Larry, me and our family. xoxooxoxo

 

Since I last checked in, we’ve had a week of adventure as Santa & Nana Claus. What a gift that’s been for us. We enjoyed visits, spread out over a number of days. Keeping a safe distance away with creative photo shooting, enabled 2020’s ‘picture with Santa’ to happen, with a new twist. In the past, we never would have thought to have the children pick their goodie bag from the end of Santa’s 10’ fishing pole.  The delight of the wee ones is precious, and the joy of parents as well. For every family visited, many neighbours also enjoyed the surprise. If I do say so myself, Larry is the most handsome Santa ever!

One of the most precious gifts was to see a beautiful and healthy little 5 year old girl outside, waiting for us. Last year we visited her in her home, as she and her family were isolating because of her chemo treatments for leukemia. (Isolation is not unique to this time of pandemic.) She was so tickled when we told her we remembered visiting her in her home last year. Her smiling eyes above her mask and wiggly dancing body said it all.

We were grateful for Christmas Eve Mass live streamed from our church. We’re so blessed with a giving church community of helpers who prepared the church so beautifully, with lighted trees and Nativity scene just as they have every year. We received Holy Communion on Christmas day at 10:00. Again, so appreciative of Fr. Ron and Fr. Larry for taking such good care of our spiritual needs. Grateful too for all the volunteers helping to keep us safely in order.

After being out most of the day finishing our Santa visits, Larry made Christmas dinner, not turkey but steak and we enjoyed a quiet evening.

We appreciate all the messages of love, prayers and good wishes from so many. Larry is working out how to make it possible for comments to be made on the Blog. Among many things, he’s my tech man! I’m sure that feature will be up in the next day or so.

Actually, I’ve just described the ‘doing’! How I am ‘being’ is what feeds the ‘doing’ and visa versa! I’ve really enjoyed the artsy stuff, decorating cookies and making flower arrangements. Each day I start with quiet time in prayer and reflection, which lifts my heart up for the day. Larry & I also enjoy Mass every day (live streamed). We have done that every day since March, except when camping. I get tired more easily these days, but I’m grateful for good sleeps every night (which is new for me). A few people (out of love) have told me I should be taking it easy. Not sure what that might be! I don’t force myself to do more than I can or want to. Larry & I are getting along 9½ out of 10 most days. We even danced a 2-minute jive last night.   

Monday to Friday we waited by the phone, as the doctor on Monday said we’d hear from the Cancer clinic that week… No! I hoped each day to hear, until Friday afternoon, when I was glad to wait till after the weekend, and we could do our ‘Santa & Nana Claus’ visits & prepare turkey dinners for delivery, just in case surgery would be Christmas Eve. On Monday we found out that I had an appointment on January 19, 2021! Oh! Wasn’t expecting that. Oh well, let’s make the best of the next 30 days before we hear what’s what.

I’m pleased to say that our spirits are very up. This is our life right now and we are making the best of it, conscious of not going down the road of ‘speculation’ that brings about discouragement or fear. And that’s what we hope for you too! I learned a new term ‘cognitive transference’ from Fr. Cedric who’s talk on ‘Worrier or Warrior’ confirmed for me what I had been reflecting on that morning, which was that I was conscious of being grateful for absolutely not allowing speculation to violate my peace.  ‘Cognitive transference’ to my understanding means changing any mental, emotional or intellectual negativity to positive thoughts, words and actions.   The Serenity Prayer says it well, “Lord help me to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference!”

On Friday, December 11th, after hearing my doctor say “Sorry to give you bad news over the phone, but you have cancer! You need a hysterectomy!”  one of the first thoughts that entered my mind was, “The “C” word, hmmm: Catherine, Christian, Challenge, Courage, Christmas!”  I call that ‘pure grace’.  ‘Catherine-Ann’ was the name given to me at birth!          Catherine = ‘Pure’ (Greek  origin)  -  Ann = ‘Grace’ (Hebrew origin)

I choose to rely on ‘Pure Grace’ from God to guide me, carry me and sustain me through my journey with cancer.

REACT or RESPOND?

   After Larry & I listened together to the ‘news’ from the doctor, that Friday morning, we just looked at each other. Neither of us had words to say. We just took deep breaths and kept playing our game of cards. We decided to not share the news until after Monday, when we hoped to hear about what the next step would be. We hugged and held hands much, much more than usual. It was so good to just ‘BE’ with each other, no words necessary!

   I arranged with our friend Father Larry to meet Saturday, when I received the sacraments of Reconciliation, Anointing of the Sick and the Eucharist. We both felt the power of God’s grace increasing our strength and peace. It was a quiet and beautiful weekend.

  Because we wanted to be able to give more details than just the diagnosis, we held off telling anyone for a few days. But when we didn’t hear any more, we started calling our boys, close family and a few friends. Wow! The marathon from 8:30 a.m. to 7:30 p.m. gave a whole new meaning to exhausted! I hit a wall and couldn’t speak to one more person! Larry was so awesome, sitting beside me for almost every call. Same story, over and over. That’s what really convinced us that blogging was the way to go. I’m not a face-booker, so we’ll have to figure out the least stressful way (for us) to do this.

  We are very grateful for being loved and cared about, and that others want to know what’s going on and how we’re doing. We ourselves have appreciated being able to follow others’ story (through techy means) and not add to their stress with communication that requires any effort that adds to their many daily challenges. We thank you for your understanding in respecting our need to create a peaceful environment for ourselves.