Jan. 19, 2021   CARRIED BY GRACE

   The day we've waited for since early December, has come and gone. Having no idea what to expect, the appointment at the Cancer Clinic from 12:30 - 3:00 went very well. After filling out 12 pages of info, we met the gynecologist. After interviewing me, Dr. Kan explained that the cancer was at stage ONE and that the surgery would take place in approx. 6 weeks. My surgeon introduced herself to us. She is one of a group of 10 oncologists who perform surgeries , at both UBC and VGH. There are 6 weeks of patients ahead of me, waiting for their surgery. I will have a laparoscopic hysterectomy. Eight years ago, I had my gall bladder removed laparoscopically, and the recovery was fairly quick with little pain. The incision is only a half inch. I'll only be in hospital for one night. In the meantime, I'll get some blood work done & a CT scan.

   The visit with Dr. Kan (OBGYN) left us feeling confident. He was very attentive to my answers to his questions and he clearly answered questions that I had. He explained in detail what's going on with my body now and what to expect for the surgery & recovery.

  Our dear friends Geraldine & Eric were praying outside the hospital while we were inside. Hard to put into words what that meant to us. The four of us went to Bear Creek park for a beautiful walk. 

  We know we've been carried by God's grace through the gift of prayers of so many. We are in great company.

 

  We have not taken for granted the lack of fear and anxiety, right from when we first heard the diagnosis. 'Going with the flow', we've found ourselves in an extraordinary state of acceptance and peace. My conscious & subconscious are in a constant state of gratitude, trust and surrender. It's a powerful state of being, like I've never known before. There are no words to describe it. On the way home I asked Larry if he found it incredible 'how well' we are handling it all.

  I started contacting immediate family right away to let them know the good news. Then sent quick responses to the texts/emails that kept coming in. Then it got to be too much. I hadn't lifted my head from my phone for over an hour. Right after dinner we made our video to tell of our appointment. I have known fatigue (from my fibromyalgia) but this was exhaustion. So, as well as the appointment went from a conscious & subconscious level, little did I know that my 'unconscious' self, was a rumbling volcano, that erupted in sobs at 8:00. It didn't last long, but it sure came. It felt very human. I hadn't cried since I found out, and never had to suppress 'conscious' feelings of grief. I actually found that odd. So, today proved how very complex we are. I hesitated writing about this, because I don't want responses of sympathy or advice. I have not plunged into depression. Today was a big day with a lot to take in. I just thought that inviting you on this journey, (perhaps some of you have or will have a similar experience) that telling it like it is, is important.

  Tomorrow is Larry's birthday, and I want to make the day 'HIS Day'. He asks for nothing and gives much. I am so blessed to be loved and cared for by my wonderfully devoted husband. 

  God bless you to face your challenges with grace and peace. xoox

 

Friday, January 15, 2021

   I’m so blessed to have my Mom’s 2 youngest sisters living in Coquitlam. I love them to pieces and enjoy my time with them. Yesterday I met my Aunt Claudia at Mackin Park in Maillardville, (where I used to play as a child). After walking a couple of times around the park, we enjoyed a visit sitting at separate picnic tables.

   Today I got more than my share of endorphins from the antics of my Aunt Anita. At 85, she has just become a techy on Facebook. Very adventurous & persevering in learning how to navigate. She says she doesn’t make mistakes on purpose but laughs at herself. Well, she’s not the only one! You wouldn’t understand what was so funny, but she sure gets Larry & I going, with her ‘experiments’ with the bells & whistles. She often phones to explain her ‘boo boos’, but all I hear is ‘hyperventilating’ sounds coming from her laughing fits.

   I am so grateful to love and have the love of two wonderful Aunties who put the ‘extra’ into ordinary. They are the best to travel down memory lane with! Since we lived next door to them when I was a baby, until now, I have always felt very loved by them. God bless my dear Aunties!