Thursday, July 14, 2022

9:07 PM

Hello! Even though Larry has less need for tubes, IV's & sophisticated monitoring, which meant moving him onto the neurology ward, it was hard to celebrate, as his struggle to breathe without coughing, coughing, coughing has exhausted & frustrated him beyond his physical & emotional strength today. He would blankly stare ahead and often not answer, which was different then the last 2 days. He hates his wrists being tied down. He's ripped out his i.v. if he can reach them. Does not understand why he can't go to the bathroom, or have a bit of juice because he's thirsty.

  He was transferred to the new ward into a private room, which is such a gift. There are patients in beds in the hallways on this unit. We hear 'short staffed' all the time. The nurses suctioned Larry, way down his throat to clear it out. He will likely have it done again tonight. Very unpleasant, but so necessary, to give him relief.

  I had a lot of time alone with Larry today, and was so happy to be able to massage him without having to be careful about all his hook-ups. He was very soothed as I would stroke his face & head, and get in close & kiss, kiss, kiss, then the stupid coughing would start & unsettle his peace. He whispered a few sweet things. He loves to ruffle my new curly hair, so I brought my head close to his (tied down) hands and he ruffled it with his fingers. Said "Merry Christmas" when his cough sounded like 'Ho, ho, ho!'

  The neurosurgeon on the ward is the one who performed his surgery. I sure hope I get to see him tomorrow. Dr. Shuster, who has been his doctor this week, smiled & said "He's doing really well!"

  My prayer from the beginning of this, thinking of Larry's difficult journey through rehab is that he will have peace & endurance through his courageous fight. That the practical, experienced rehab therapist would rule. He experiences almost no control over every part of his body & it really took its toll today. The battle has only begun. For the first time I sobbed. Larry's last words to me were of great despair. I got very upset with him & reminded him of my fight for us last year and he had to fight for us now. He said "OK!"

 I'm definitely not proof reading because right now, between the blurry Bell's palsy eye & tears, I can't see.

 Thank you an don't stop praying for us! God bless you. I'm offering the pain of today to ease the burden of all who are feeling desperately discouraged or hopeless in any way!