Saturday, July 30, 2022

6:46 PM

  I met the ICU Doctor who started his week today. I'm so glad I was there, to tell him important things about Larry's past 4 weeks, especially the gradual progress following his surgery. Also, it's good for Larry's 'team' to know of his career as a therapist, so they explain things from the therapist's perspective, which he then will cooperate with. There was some good banter about living in the same house as someone teaching themselves the violin, i.e. the doctor's wife & Larry, when Covid started. Unlike his guitar playing, I cannot listen to the eee- eee-eee of the violin. I don't care if it's vibrato. I must say, when Larry switched to fiddle style music, he aced it & I enjoyed it. I play recordings of them for him now.

  This kidney thing throws a big wrench into the picture. Larry has never had any kidney issues prior to this, so I want to think that what's happening now is a 'hick-up' that will right itself. The doctor today spoke of "If his kidneys don't recover!" I didn't like that. I won't think beyond now, as now is the only now we have now. Larry was put on 3 hours dialysis today, and possibly tomorrow after looking at numbers in is blood & urine.

  Larry tried opening his yes for me and squeezed Shane's & my hand once. He did not respond when asked most of the time to open eyes by nurses or me. Opening his eyes starts with him raising his eyebrows, almost as though the lids will follow. Sometimes they do, mostly they don't. My sister & hubby came today. Erin & I took a break. When we came back, John said that Larry opened his eyes for 15 minutes. Although he did leave them open a few times, he just stared straight ahead and wouldn't follow to look at us or anything moving.

  Again, we were told they may remove the breathing tubes tomorrow. He doesn't seem to cough as much, but they sure suction him a lot.

   We're naturally comparing the process back to life in ICU, from what we witnessed after Larry's surgery. This is not the same recovery. I really woke up today when the nurse said that Larry has not had sedation for a couple of days. How did I miss that? So why the 'big sleep'? Too much for me to comprehend, so I will entrust it all to God and allow Him to sustain me by His grace. I need peace more than anything. I am not good to Larry, our sons, me or anyone, if I don't have peace! I don't think discouraging thoughts, but I must say that my heart is definitely experiencing that today. My hope and trust are that Larry will be healthy again and this time of suffering is not wasted, as I read in the hundreds of messages that come to me, with folks telling me how they are trying harder to be kinder, more grateful, more generous and faithful in prayer & relaying their life's struggles to God, trusting in His plan for them. 

  I haven't been hung up on the 'numbers' that are reported to me by my blog supplier. But each week I am sent the number of sites on my blog account that have been opened. This week the number climbed by 2,000. Yes, Larry 2,000 times people have followed your journey, offering their love & hope for wellness for you!  We are so grateful for the tremendous support & especially prayers of so many.

 My cousin & hubby brought me home tonight. Theresa said she is so happy to do this for me, in thanksgiving for the times I took care of her as a little girl. Also, I know her love and the love of all my cousins for Larry, began from when they first met him and welcomed him into our very large family. He has always felt loved by them and he loves them.

 I slept quite well last night, despite the sweltering heat, so I'm hoping for the same tonight. God bless you! Hope you sleep well & wake up refreshed. Thank you for your listening ear & heart! xoxo