Monday, August 1, 2022

8:03 PM

Hello. Thank you for accompanying us.

Another long day, with little response when prompted, i.e. "Larry, open your eyes. & Larry can you squeeze my hand"

Shane & I got a squeeze when we first arrived & each held a hand. That was my treat for the day, as he did not do it again. He opened his eyes a few times, upon request, & a few times, on his own throughout the day. The difference today, is that he opened them quite wide. He staired straight ahead except for once, he looked to his left at me, for a few seconds. The dialysis had not happened as the machines were busy serving several patients throughout the day, but his 3 hour turn was coming up as I left around 6:00. His kidneys are not eliminating creatinine so the dialysis will do that for him. I really know nothing about the connection between the kidney & the brain, except that when our Mom had UTIs, her cognition was definitely impaired. So hopefully this is the last correction necessary that is interfering with Larry coming back to us, as before. His coughing & need to be suctioned, was less today. Still tubes down his throat, although they said that he is breathing room air, not forced oxygen. (my knowledge/memory is very limited, sorry if I confuse things) The nurse said that its risky to take his breathing aids away, while its not certain if he might stop breathing & not start up again without help.

  Larry's nurse today spent 15 years in the Canadian military. He was very efficient and thorough in caring for Larry's needs. Also, very kind to us. However, at the end of my day, he reminded me of the strict rules of only 2 visitors at 3 hours each, per day. He said that I had been there for several hours now, & although he thinks it's good for the patient & family, that the rules say otherwise. Those definitely were the rules for the first 3 days, but when I told him that that had been lifted, he said he'd check it with the 'boss' nurse. Apparently the strict rules still apply, but the nurses are not enforcing it and have been very accommodating all week. We'll see! A sweet nurse from a few days ago, kept popping by to see Larry & us, with words of love & encouragement.

 Since my boo-hoo at church yesterday, my heart has felt heavier. Today, while I was alone with Larry, praying aloud the verses from scripture that are reassuring & full of hope, I started crying from the start and I ploughed through it, crying all the while. During the first round of ICU, I never wanted to show Larry any sign of a tear, but today felt like I was crying for him and for me. I guess leaving behind, a whole month of the greatest fight of our lives, woke me up to the weight we've been bearing and will continue to bear. Time is moving a lot slower, but I hope, hope, hope every day for Larry to have a break-through, even just a small one. Looking at him, he is still so handsome and looks strong. However, lifting up his arms or rubbing his legs, his muscles feel strangely mushy for the first time in his life.

  We are relying on and very much appreciate your loving prayers & support. Only by God's grace can we travel this road with courage, perseverance, hope & peace. Thank you for accompanying us on this road! God bless you. Good night! xoxo