Tuesday, August 2, 2022 **See previous blog post for today's update on Larry**

8:51 PM

 Hi! Each time I learn a lesson, or realize that I have, I share it because I know that I have learned so much from others who have realized their brokenness and their need to overcome it and their journey to do just that. Not being afraid to expose my vulnerability has been so liberating.

   As I was waiting for my cousin to pick me up, outside of the hospital tonight, a woman asked if I had change to spare!

 I introduced myself, then she shared the pain of her family, during and since her mother's illness & death. Her pain is consuming her, over the unforgiveness between family members. She said she was ok with her Mom & had let go of 'stuff' and that Mom was at peace, in a better place. I told her that after my Mom died, I had a beautifully perfect relationship with her that was spirit to spirit. None of 'any' stuff that had been less than perfect between us, has had power over my beautiful relationship with her ever since.

  I am grateful that there is no one in my life that I am waiting for or expecting an apology from. If there is anyone that I have hurt and is suffering with regret or pain that I have caused, I pray that I can make amends, to bring about peace for them and for me, in knowing that I have been forgiven. Life is too precious to be weighed down by unforgiveness. The one thing we all have in common is 'brokenness'! "Peace begins with me!" is a book written by a local author, and it is so true. Waiting for the 'other' to say sorry 1st, is beyond our control, but we/I can choose to be first to offer the 'olive branch'!

 Larry & I had the last 2 years, between isolating together through Covid and then the cancer journey, to really let the 'small stuff' evaporate and no longer be an issue in letting go of. Even his snoring stopped bothering me. Especially now, only the best of Larry is what I see and enjoy thinking about. There is a reel of beautiful memories that continually runs through my mind & heart.

  The Japanese art of KINTSUGI offers a lovely metaphor for human growth and relationship repair. Broken pottery is repaired with gold-dusted lacquer, creating gold seams in place of the original cracks. The resulting piece is more beautiful than the original. I've learned to not waste my suffering. It took a long time for me to understand that and I don't really know that I can clearly explain it. I just know that as long as I curse the things that have hurt me, I cannot be free of them. Only by God's grace have I ever been able to let go and hopefully grow from from the pain.