Thursday, August 18, 2022 7:44 PM

 

    The best part of today, for sure was seeing 'Great' Uncle Larry open his eyes and keep them focused on little Rue as Mommy held her up in his line of vision. He really focused on her, and she just kept smiling (like she does). I kept waiting for Uncle Larry to smile too, but he did it in his heart. Rheanna says "It's Rue's twin sister Fynn's turn next!

   Mary-Lynn was with Larry for a few hours before I came. when the doctor came around. She took notes from all the doctor said, but I'm too tired right now to decipher, so I'll report another time. Mary-Lynn was very pleased, though at how strait forward the Dr. was in explaining.

  I had little time with Larry today, as he needed one-on-one care as well as having a procedure to insert a more permanent catheter for dialysis, into his chest. He was gone for a while. When he returned, he was very peacefully sleeping. My sis, Erin & John came as I was leaving. She called to say that he became alert and had some interaction. This seems to be Larry's best time of day for interacting, in early evening. 

   I spent some time with Linda before going to the hospital. We walked around the beautiful gardens at Bear Creek Park, just down the road from the hospital. We found a lunch/bakery café & got spoiled with beautiful roasted vegies in a panini. I'm gonna try to copy the soup Linda had, it was coconut cream cauliflower, yummy! When she dropped me off at the hospital, I cried, as I told her, as lovely as it was to have spent this time together, I have rarely done a 'social/ recreational' outing since Larry's stroke. I feel lost In the middle of it. I know he'd be happy and want me to do these sorts of things, but without any particular thought process, it’s a feeling that I cannot explain.  I'm fine if I'm having lunch or coffee with someone at the hospital, while Larry is having personal care from the nurse. When I think about the time last year where I was so weak & compromised during my cancer treatments & time in between, I can see Larry in my mind, as I would tell him to "Go fishing!" or "Go to so & so's dinner gathering!" He would just say "No!" and it wasn't because I needed baby-sitting. When he did go fishing a very few times, he would always come home much earlier than usual. When he took me along, to sit in the shade & read, he'd stay a little longer. I can really see his face & hear his tone, as he'd say "No!" to my suggestion. So I guess it just is, what it is. Maybe for now, maybe for longer! I so appreciate that this can be a challenge for others to understand and accept whatever this is. I thank you for just loving me, warts & all! A grief counselor would probably have a term for what I'm talking about. We all want to do what we can to 'make things better'. I thank you all for listening & for loving me! I did see the beauty of the garden today & took a few pics. I'm so happy to have had Linda share her heart with me, as I did with her! Friends since we were 10!

  God bless you. The support, love, good wishes & prayers continually flow like Niagara Falls, powerful & non-stop.

God bless you. xoxo