Sunday, August 28, 2022 6:58 PM

Hello, thanks for joining us.

 When I arrived, Larry's dialysis was almost over. A young friend drove me in & Larry's eyes lit up with surprise to see him. Brad has journeyed in a faith group with Larry & a few other men, for several years now, every Wed. at 6:30 A.M. Larry would nod 'yes' when Brad talked to him. His attention was short. After listening a bit, he soon nodded off. When I mentioned the visit a few hours after Brad left, Larry nodded in agreement.

  Since receiving medication through the nebulizer, Larry's chest/throat has dried up. He still coughs occasionally, & it's not pretty. He lets out a yelling high pitch growl. After one coughing jag, he threw up. It's always distressing for him & me when he struggles so much. He kept saying (quite clearly) "I just want to sleep!" So, yes it's great that his speech is improving, but most often it's to express pain & frustration. A 2 edged sword! I'm excited to hear him speak, especially in sentences, but it is very hard to hear "Why aren't you helping me?" I didn't take it personally, & reminded him that I love his so much, & try to help him in every way that I can & I'm very sorry when I can't.

  It seemed there was a lot of work involved in this visit, with holding his arm down & strait while his antibiotic IV ran its course, also stroking his head while the nebulizer was doing its thing. I always hold his hand, & constantly rub his limbs & chest, but today was because I had to, to keep him calm. Then there was the propping of pillows over & over to help him be comfortable, especially when he slides into the bed rails. He definitely is not easy for me to move or reposition, to try & make him comfortable. Nurses work so hard in all they do for their patients, & for 12 hrs. at a time. The hard 'do-nut' they made out of a towel is awful. It's for Larry to rest his head on, so there is no pressure on his soft spot where the piece of bone was removed from his skull. I talked to the nurse about the U shape travel pillow that I have & she was excited for Larry to have it, as she was frustrated with O.T. for not having such a thing. Larry could not get comfortable because of the 2 very bad bed sores on either side of his tail bone. Now on the positive side (if I dare say that) Larry uses his arm & sometimes leg muscles to shift his body. That would be his work-out today!  Because of dialysis & Larry needing a lot of attention, there was no 'chair time' today.

   His facial expressions are definitely changing with his alertness, from big frowns, & gritted teeth, to the lovely look of surprise & welcome when he sees someone he had not expected. He showed that face with Brad, first thing, & for sure when our nephew & his wife (who are visiting here from England) came this afternoon. He held their gaze for the longest time & was nodding to the conversation, almost in awe. He almost always waves hello & good-bye now. Larry's brother John took me home, leaving Pat & Susan visiting with Uncle Larry, until he went back for them. I gave John a beautiful U shape pillow that was given to me by a dear friend to take to my chemo sessions last year. I sure hope it’s the answer, as Larry is always so restless, trying to settle his head into a comfortable position.

  Today was different, with quite a mix of tuff & tender moments. Larry is initiating loving gestures & glances… that's my Larry! If only the bed sores would heal! John said that whoever invents a quick & effective healing solution for that, should win a Nobel prize. I think so too! This gives a whole new meaning to 'Pain in the butt!'

   Today I met a young patient in a wheel chair, visiting with his mother, in the neurology unit sitting area. I was going for lunch & offered to bring them back a coffee. Max said "Yes please!" When I brought it back to him, you would think that I had solved all of his problems. He & his mother couldn't say enough lovely things to me in appreciation. Such a simple gesture on my part seemed to make their day much brighter. It's wonderful when we follow that prompting voice inside, to act on the kindness stored up in our hearts. Today seemed to be a day for them, where they really needed to be shown love & a day that I really needed to act on it & say "My pleasure! I'll pray for you Max!" He asked for Larry's name & said he'd do the same for him. 'To love & be loved in return!' (I think that's in a song.)

  Take care! God bless you! xoxo