Nov. 7, 2022

BECAUSE YOU'RE MINE, I WALK THE LINE! (11.06.22)


Sunday, November 6, 2022 7:53 PM
 
 Hello, welcome to our ??? Day! (Click on 'Pics' to see a couple of shots from today)
I just wacked my head so hard on the 1/2 open trunk door, so you can attribute any 'weirdness' to that.
 Of all the things to take a picture of, here's the blue line I follow every day from one end of the hospital to the Columbia tower blue zone, where Larry is. All these phrases came to mind, regarding this day, when I thought of the word 'LINE':
  • The Bottom line is the bottom line, is the bottom line!" Larry, this afternoon was quite blah! He had that hunched over posture, with his eyes closed. A loud & clear message of "I have no enthusiasm, nor do I want to even try to have some!" He hates me saying "What we give is what we get!", even though he'll say "I know!" I try to keep cheerful but the phrase 'Attitudes are contagious, is yours worth catching?' works both ways. I'm sorry to say, I reached a point where I got ticked off. We have no choice here! Of course, I have no idea! Or, maybe I do… just a little of how tough being so weak & disabled, can be! He fought the fires of hell to stay alive, for so long. Now, he has to fight to have a life. He said, when he saw that I wasn't happy "I'm sorry you're disappointed that I'm not progressing as fast as you thought!" Are you kidding? His regained strength & mobility will be whatever they will be & I will be grateful for whatever that is, but any progress is absolutely contingent upon attitude & effort.
  •  "If you change your mind, I'm the first in line" ( ABBA lyric ) He was finishing his lunch (which he enjoyed, 'shepherd's pie') when I arrived. He did say "Yes!" to following today's Mass with Fr. Mike Schmitz, on line. He had the head set on & I enjoyed seeing him focus on, especially the homily. He loves Fr. Mike. Following that I called the nurse to get him into his wheelchair, which he didn't want to do, even though he said he knows that's what he's supposed to do to get stronger. He did enjoy watching a 2 yr old boy drummer, win Spain's Got Talent. Then the hunched pose. I gave him his guitar, which he said "No!" to, but I didn't hear him. He did play for a bit, which stirred up our neighbours, offering lots of fun comments & requests. It didn't last long, & he wanted to go back to bed, but his awful dinner came. Vegetarian lentil/bean concoction, which he hardly touched. Thank goodness lunch was great. When he couldn't eat any more, I gave him the baked apple & yam dish & yogurt shake.
  • "Next in line to the throne"  I'm sure when he's experienced making it to the bathroom, & the relief from the agony he's endured all these months, hopefully, maybe not enthusiasm, but at least be encouraged toward more independence for self-care.                  
    Maybe I've crossed the line with TMI, but I did crack my skull, remember & driving in slushy traffic, plus not the most lovely of days, has me spilling my beans. Those who know me well, have found no surprises here!
   I am very grateful for every kindness that was shown to Larry & me, today & every day. And there are many! Larry did find some comfort & joy today; it just wasn't as much as my hope that he will experience each day. His smile is not something we've seen for many months, but it is gradually returning. I did see a snicker during the banter with our new 'friend' across the room.
  BTW: I have to take care of the winter tire exchange tomorrow. Now, doesn't that just put a smile on my face…NOT! But I'll suck it up buttercup! I'm in no position to 'draw the line' in not getting this 'man job' done! My only choice is to be all in, "Hook line & sinker!" So, I'll keep in line with Larry, having stepped up to the plate last year for me, as he truly championed over every need.
  Thank you for letting me vent. I know tomorrow will be a much better day. "Thank You God, for not letting us stay stuck! And thank You for loving us through everyone you have placed in our path!" Amen.